sheRicA and Dj`Lei.. we belong together =) -

Monday, August 31, 2009

things have quieten down recently... finally can stop and take a break from all the emotional stuffs that happened...

things may have seem to improve ... but actually everything is still unclear and our future is still in doubt and uncertainty... many times i will ask myself.. is this how it is gonna be??.. will our scars and wounds heal over time??? the events that had happened over this few months has changed our lives... i have never felt more uncertain about myself.. about my life.. my future and the person who sleep beside me every night... i really dont know what i can do to make her happy anymore... i felt so useless.. and helpless...

when will we find back those happy times we shared... the happiness we once hold on to... for a very long time i have forgotten how to smile or laugh ... i live my days in fear and stress... fear of losing.. and donno what will happen the very nxt minute.. stressed coz i am really trying hard to fight on... to do whatever i could to hold on to this last glimpse of hope.. but i am really running out of ideas... i am really lost...

wo zhen de hao lei... ni de leng mo bian cheng le wo de shang tong... wo hao xi wang hui dao cong cian.. zai ci kan dao ni na ke ai de xiao rong.. zai ci gan shou dao ni dui wo de teng ai.. hai you zai ci de ting jian ni shuo sheng wo ai ni...

xing fu... wo hai neng zai du yong you xing fu ma??? hai shi wo ying gai dui zi ji de ren sheng si xing.. wo de ren sheng zhong chong man le hei an.. zai ye zhao bu dao deng guang.. he xing fu...

wo men shi fou zhen de ying gai zai yi ci???
Sui ran wo bu zhi dao da an
Dan zhi shao..xian zai de wo.. reng ran hen ai ni...

Lei

the beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

虽说事实是残酷的，但我还是要谢谢你对我坦白...
你所说的每句话有入针刺一般一直在刺痛我的心...
你让我终于知道心碎的感觉是怎样了...
不过请你别担心，我会勇敢的去学会坚强去..学会改变自己..
让你不再需要为我担心..

爱一个人的确是应该成全她.. 所以当你需要我放手的时候，请你一定要告诉我..
让我把自由还给你.. 把你那消失已久的笑容和活力还给你...

假如真有那么一天，答应我无论将来发生任何事你都会好好的活下去..要坚强..
虽然到时我不在你的身边了..但你一定要勇敢的面对..毕竟这是你的选择...

谢谢你让我这3年以来，能够体会到你的爱...
对我而言，你永远都是最完美的...

Lei

the beauty exposed ;

Sunday, August 09, 2009

dam..how i missed this blog... many mths has passed and many things has changed.. but life.. still has to carry on.. reading many of this posts in this blog make me realise that i had been such a failure husband, father and lover. I had failed to give my wife the love she need when she wants it most, i had failed to dote on her, to care for her during her pregnancy..just by reading her posts in this blog i can feel her pain, her sadness and disappointment in me.. i have failed her... really.. i know i deserved all this changes thats happening to us..to our marriage.. and to our lives..

Laopo, i know your heart has long ago been numbed..numbed to all the nonsense that i had done, to all the pain i caused u. I know u had given up on me long ago.. but please give me a chance.. i know i took too long to come to my senses.. to realise that you are more important than anything in life to me.. i am sorry for all the hurt, the pain, the loneliness and the sadness that i have given you. please, let me show you that i can really love you like before.. be that perfect guy who will always be there for you.. to care and love for you. please dont give up on me.. i need your love..

To the world out there, please read through the posts from my wife.. witness how pathetic i had been, how i had failed to be a responsible man to my wife. and witness the change that is gonna happen, right from this moment.. i will no longer be the same lei as last time.. i will be a responsible man.. that my wife can rely on.. mark my words..

and to whom it may concern, i will be there for her, always, so dont worry, she wont need you by her side anymore..

the beauty exposed ;