My back still hurts o.O and my workload is so heavy that it's making me a nerd. LOL.... bleah, just kidding, it's all g00d, just very busy with sch etc. Been spending some time being alone... feels g00d. Sometimes crowds are all about hypocrites anyway... =)

My team's doing fine..... just need to improve in teamwork I think. The people are nice too... I don't really have to do much.... just need to improve my skills and coordination with them. This's the best feeling I have about dota for a long long time. No emo problems, short discussion after games and genuine constructive improvement. I finally thank g0d for making such plans for me...

And darling, I'm sorry if I'm not g00d enough as a girlfriend.... just that the term 'boyfriend' is so foreign in my life. As u said, I just need time to adjust and get used to things. <3 see u 2mr nite. When the world has forsaken me...... I know you'll be there......

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I read shan's post on the 21st. Wondering what's the emo-ness about.... and having some idea what she means and who she is referring to. Seriously feel that she's blinded by the 'light' she's seeing. I always tell my friends..... 'welcome to the dark side'. LOL... and that reminds me of Tammy too... she said that when we convinced shan to let jas go.

Emo-ness is gonna consume pple in flames. I rem talking to shan when I was still in CaLz. She is so emo that dawn would ask me to talk to her on dawn's behalf. Wooo.. the dirty job. And the truth is, I treated Shan quite nicely.... In fact, think of it...... I don't really treating them bad except maybe in game. But like she said herself, people always remember and spread the negativity rather than the goodness. Regarding shan's post, I hope it's not referring to me... but even if it's so, I am accepting it the way it is. She can stay in her flock..... while I shall stay with mine.

Bottomline is... : I don't need everyone to understand and like me for who I am. I shall keep this in mind.....

If I have a bag with eggs and some of the eggs are rotten, I would just throw the rotten ones away and end of issue. It's the same with life..... sometimes I meet people who are just rotten... and I leave them out of my life.... and things become simple. Maybe that's what shan meant by that post. But maybe again, the rotten eggs that u see aren't really rotten.. and the good eggs that u see are actually rotten within. Lol.... Life and its surprises. We never know what happens next. And for emo people, the best way out is to keep ur cool and not jump to conclusions. Oh and just in case there's more misunderstanding to come, I don't mean anyone in particular... I am an emo person! lol. Juz some food for tots...

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Dar's coming back!!! =D <3 huggies!
I refuse to be affected by lame pple~ I just need to be alone.... with you =)

Reflections:
1) Friendship is just so bias n superficial. Don't bother treating people nicely cuz they will only rem the bad points.
2) Don't waste your time explaining and clarifying when judgements are already formed. Y be so stupid? Won't help things.
3) Why put down your pride and be nice when it's not your fault? Strike out the phrase 'sorry for....' and use the words 'F O' for a change.
4) Someone admits he's super bias and yet he's ranting on and on...... LOL. Noise pollution.
5) Tactics to vent your frustration and kill someone silently : CRY father CRY mother. Complain to the dumb heroic guy. Let him do the killing for you.
6) Friends are given a chance, good friends two. And when you used them up.... you're but a stranger to me now. So F O.

Stop stepping on me. I won't be nice anymore.

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I'm 22... should be old enough to take a birdeye view of an issue and not be so emotionally affected by people's comments. I stood up for something or someone that is close to me. Clarification led to much unhappiness. I unknowingly touched on a person's sore spot and that led to emo-ness. Emo-ness led to confrontation. Confrontation led to complaints to someone heroic. Heroism and Outrighteousness led to one-sided chiding and very hurting words. So now that a scapegoat is needed..... fingers start pointing. And the entry was obviously pointing at 2 pple. Strangely enough, the person who spreaded this was conveniently excused. Ever heard the phrase 'Thief Crying Police'?

I'm above..... and over it. Let reason and the truth do the talking.

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Been feeling abit upset... hurt my back so bad ytd... nearly teared. Knocked my knee against the corner of a table.... pain again. Feels so clumsy.. lol... and weak and vulnerable. Damn, must take care of myself abit more... Wait like turtle cannot get up le =(

Saw dar's friendster today..... and thinking of all the girls he's associated with. Many names popped to mind... : gina, fiona, celine, cass, kelly, peipei, shan, sheree, jun and...... I'm sure there's more.. just that I cant rem so many. Dar, y r u such a flirt..... U keep asking me if I regret being with u... maybe you really want the confirmation that I would love u forever, but I cant. How much do I know you..... I don't even trust you yet... Every testi you write for the girls u love, they're the 'love of ur life'... lol~ how many Love of your Life can u have? Will I be the last or am i just ONE of them? U alr. hurt me before.... why do I still give u a second and third chance? I don't know ..... maybe I'm kinda of blind sometimes. PROVE ME WRONG if u DARE.

Rem what I told u abt 'players'? Rule number
1) always keep a spare tyre.
2) Be sweet, sweet and still sweet till u Win.
3) Be very doubtful.. be very cautious.

R u still a player? Will u suddenly walk away? When do u ever get serious in a bgr?
Request of the day : MAKE ME TRUST U...

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3 days ago...... Lei gave me this bouquet of purple roses..... delivered to my doorstep. Aww so sweet =) He said it was a wedding bouquet of roses.... and it's purple cuz it's my favourite color. Well, a very pleasant surprise because I nvr received purple roses before... n he's in camp! =p ok so wat occasion was it???? our first mth anniversary. LOL. And to Lei, that's already record-breaking. The longest bgr he had b4 me was 23 days. o.O Thanks dar, for the efforts.... so touching!!

Now gonna train back dota....... play well n play hard =)
CAPL is coming!

Sch sucks...... been so busy with studies, tests, projects etc. But luckily, I got something to look forward to. Lei's bookin out on thursday! So I'll get to spend thurs fri sat n sunday with him~ been missing him for the past 10 days!! but Dar's sick..... n warded =( take care k....... I miss u! and dun come back looking like the nightmare I had ytd, small short skinny lei ?? =x eeRRkk, so scary. LOL.... just spent the night over at lei's place.. alone. siAnzz... going home now... MORNING blog. <3

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=) Leaving sherica2906.blogspot.com behind.. Well, dar is in ns now.. 4th day already. Will see him on the 21st. I miss you darling............ *huggies*!! Your sms-es are so sweet... every single day I am showered with tons of them. Thanks for the love care and tots. T.c in camp k... lovelove^^

Gonna tilt the intricate balance of studies, family, friends, dota and bgr towards studies for now. I need to be more organised, consistent and conscientious in my studies. A reminder to myself : Attitude determines Altitude!

Just a random tot: expectations bring about disappointments. Do not blindly expect and assume. I believe it's in the general consensus that everyone hides behind masks. Therefore, be thankful to someone who reveals her/his true colours. At least, you finally get to see the devil beneath the angelic demeanour. Take it as a lesson learnt... the hard way. Trust should never be so readily given.... again.

I feel so alone now. People around me are em0-ing. BGR woes is the number 1 killer in happiness. Maybe pple are too concerned with the 'Here and Now'. Too engrossed and focused on their present state to reflect on the past... or take the next step to the future. Quoted... When a door closes, another opens. But most of us stare too hard and long at the closed door to realise that there's another path/option. To those troubled by love... I hope your love fairies will bring you DA ONE soon. But my advice is.... to hold on only if it's mutual, let go if it's one-sided. Treasure, Cherish and Always be Thankful to Fate. It always bring surprises... and with them, lessons learnt...

k, enough of Reflections for the day =) Wish everyone Well!
Darling, I miss you....! I'm just so comforted by the fact that u r in my life. =)
U ROCK...... MY WORLD.

Love,
sheR^-^

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